Peer Pressure Defined

There is a good and bad side to peer pressure, and the focus here is on the bad side. We often think about kids pressuring each other to smoke, have sex, steal, cheat, and make other bad choices. But adults also face this in the workplace, religious institutions, families, etc. 

Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries starts with talking about how you develop a sense of self, and it is a theme throughout the Seven Steps. It comes back to having a solid sense of self and not relying on others to find you acceptable or likable. The less solid your sense of self is, the easier it is for others to manipulate and steer you into situations you would not normally do. Sadly, most people don’t understand how we become us, and most have wounds that prevent them from truly knowing themselves. 

Our sense of self evolves, and what we might do in our 20s will be very different for most in their 40s. We are continually changing and evolving, for better or worse. 

It can be painful and scary not to go with the crowd and risk rejection or banishment from the group. This reminds me of the old Groucho Marx quote: I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. All too often, our self-esteem is tied to being a club member; however, that is defined. But giving away your power in small doses is easy until you have none left. 

In work situations, there is a fine line between bullying and peer pressure. Peer Pressure can be subtle, or it can feel like a sledgehammer. Again, being aware of who you are and your values while understanding the broader dynamics of the interaction will allow you to hold your boundaries and self-worth.