Sexual Boundaries Defined

Not everyone gets the memo about the changes or even cares. We are socialized from birth about gender and gender roles. Different types of sex and various partners muddy the water. It takes effort to be conscious and aware. Shame is the unspoken partner that must be addressed. This is connected to one's sense of self and socialization around sex in your family and community. If you can't talk about sex, establishing and holding boundaries will be impossible.

Overall, we do a terrible job of educating children about sex. The best way to make a child or young adult a sex abuse victim is to keep them ignorant about sex. Knowledge is power, and keeping them powerless is child abuse. Religious orientations also socialize people about what is right, wrong, acceptable, and unacceptable, which can cause significant harm to people who don't fit into those parameters.

Sexual boundaries topic gets directly touched on in various parts of Seven Steps to Powerful Boundaries, not specifically in depth. Unfortunately, most people don't have good boundaries, and they are repeatedly victimized as a result. However, the better your boundaries, the easier this territory will be traversed. 

Because so many children are exposed to porn or are sexually violated, it damages them. It psychosexually keeps them stuck at the age of the abuse until they heal those wounds. Even something as simple as observing how their parents interact teaches children about sex during the development stages. Everyone is socialized this way. Many parents are uncomfortable with their sexuality, which they pass on to their children. Consequently, the dysfunction is passed from generation to generation.